TERRA COTTA NIGHTMARE

What do you do when your sick?....when you can't sleep, your eyes are watering so bad you can't see, and your sinus's are so packed your teeth hurt????...Make a bag!....well, that's what I do....it takes my mind off the fact that I feel like doggie doo...and isn't there an old saying that goes "Starve a fever, Crochet a cold"?....I made myself a bag just big enough to carry 3 or four Libraray books and my jug-o-water...The clay colored yarn came from an old ugly sweater I pulled apart eons ago and then decided I hated the color of the yarn...but I couldn't throw it out...and the green was left overs from a christmas gift I made for my mother...after crocheting the bag, I realized the colors are the same colors as a house I use to live in...a house that I hated...Soooo, the bag is basically 12 hours old and already reminds me of two things I hate...being sick...and a dumpy old house....Oh well...at least it will hold things that I love....Books...

AS TIME GOES BY...I miss it more and more

Looking at my kids as they ride the cusp of 16 and 12, I realize how much I miss the days when they were itty bitty....when they spoke their own made-up language, asked silly questions, and told innocent jokes that made you laugh, even when they weren't funny....

I'll never forget that...
An airplane was an Ala-Walla
A water tower was a Da-foon
My ex-brother-in-law was Uncle Geek.....
And my parents were (and still is) Abadaba and LaLa

I still wonder...
"Does Superman wear underwear?"
And, "Why IS a mouse when it's spinning?"

And I giggle every time I think...

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana Who?
Banana, don't you want to eat it!

At times I find myself wishing my kids were little again, or that I could have another....then I smack myself real hard in the head and yell "Snap out of it!!!!....That's what grandkids are for!!!"....

Whose Brilliant Idea Was This?

Mine?

This project was started months ago and will probably take a hundred years to complete…I got the super cool (dumb) idea to crochet a queen-sized blanket for my bed and started the project with lots of excitement and determination…and here I am 4 months later STILL working on it…I do row after row after row and don’t seem to gain any ground…I’ve gone through a bazillion skeins of yarn and it looks barely half done…I get sick every time I look at the damn thing but feel obligated to continue working on it after putting so much time and money into it already…this project reminds me of that childhood song that always got stuck in your head and if you heard it one more time you were just gonna shoot yourself.…You know the one…”This is the song that never ends”….THAT’S how I feel about this blanket…I have started and finished many projects since starting this one and every time I complete one, I see this infernal blanket peeking out from my craft basket, screaming…..”WHAT ABOUT ME!?!?!!?”...WHEN ARE YOU GONNA FINISH ME?!?!?!....and I scream back…”NEVER!!!…HOW ABOUT THEN?”...I want to wrap this blanket wanna be in a plastic bag and dump it in the nearest river and call it done…just so I can get on with my life…but I won't....because apparently I'm a glutton for punishment....

Self Portrait Tuedsay

Then:

Thoughts of puppies, kitties, and lollipops...an insatiable love for Smokey the Bear and Mrs. Beasley....an innocent child with uncontaminated thoughts...

Now:

A child's simple thoughts are replaced with zombies, psycho's, and beer (oh my)...an insatiable love for a bear and a doll are replaced with lust for Rob Zombie, blood on the Silver Screen, and undead things...A grown woman WITH contaminated thoughts...

See more Self Portrait Tuesdays here

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Last weekend we had some friends over for drinks and general merriment...they brought with them a new game they had just bought called "Name that tune, 80's style"...or something like that...My husband and I thought we would RULE this game...Come on...we were teenagers during the 80's...music was our life then...We grew up in a town, which during the winter season, offered very little in the recreation department...so we spent a lot of time, when it was too cold to be outside, sitting around listening to music...Well, this game must have been talking about a DIFFERENT 80's....because this wasn't the 80's we had listened too...We tanked the game, but we didn't feel too bad about it seeing our friends didn't do any better...The only highlight of the game came when we got a question that read something like this...."Who sang the song 'I like boys'?"....the choices were read off, #1. Pat Benatar #2. Cindi Lauper #3. Blondie #4. Heart....and just as the word "Heart" left the lips of the certified answer reader, my youngest son of 12 years walks into the room and says, without skipping a beat "#5. Michael Jackson".....There was absolute silence for about two seconds before a great roar of laughter filled the room...It was many minutes later as the laughter was subsiding and our eyes were beginning to dry that my son, knowing his work was done, turned with a satisfied grin on his face, and left the room as quietly as he had entered...